Right here on Ravishly, I wrote an article about how freeing it was to post my first postpartum, semi-nude selfie on social media. My body never stopped me from parading my so-called new-found body positivity all around the internet.
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I could reach acceptance because my body has never stopped me from traveling, writing, making TV appearances, meeting up with friends, or having sex. “To be clear, the fat acceptance movement is important, affirming, and proudly necessary, but I also believe that part of the fat acceptance is accepting that some of us struggle with body image and haven’t reached a place of peace and unconditional acceptance,” Gay writes. I won’t invalidate all of my body image issues because of all the very real, very painful grief they have caused me, but the real deal is this: I reached a place of peace with my body because it was way easier for me. I have internalized fatphobia, but the world doesn’t see me as fat. I won’t invalidate all of my body image issues because of all the very real, very painful grief they have caused me, but the real deal is this: I reached a place of peace with my body because it was way easier for me.Ĭertainly, I have struggled in many of the same ways as fat people, but I haven’t moved through the world as a fat person. I’ve calculated more calories in my head than dollars in my bank account. This negative and relentless mental chatter was reinforced by the images I saw on a daily basis, images that represent a very narrow version of beauty - mainly thin and white. Like many women in this culture, I’ve lived with internal voices in my head telling me I’m fat, ugly, and not good enough since grade school. “They know some of the challenges of being fat, but they don’t know the challenges of being very fat,” Gay writes presumably of people like me, or like others who can fit in those Lane Bryant sizes.
The problem with my happy ending is this: I have no clue what it’s like to be visibly fat, so maybe my body image issues are kind of bullshit. I reached total acceptance and self-love, and shouted it out from the internet rooftops with semi self-obsessed and preachy Instagram and Facebook posts.
I affirmed this by consuming body positive literature and art. As the typical bopo fairytale goes, I started reclaiming my body and my own ideas of beauty. I’ve always flown under a threshold of so-called fatness, and yet I still felt compelled to go on my own body positivity journey. The women’s retailer sells extended clothing sizes 14 to 26, therefore I am below “Lane Bryant fat.” I also am below the average size woman living in the U.S., which is currently a size 16 ( not 14, as was previously thought). I’m not even “Lane Bryant fat,” as Roxane Gay so brilliantly calls it in her new memoir, HUNGER: A Memoir of (My) Body. I’m certainly not skinny or what is deemed “model thin,” but I am society’s acceptable version of “fat” or “curvy” or “thick.” I’m a size 10 and weigh 150 pounds. I loved this discussion because it really emphasizes how we can all become more empathetic to everyone who has a body, whether they are on a journey of body liberation or not.I’m pretty sure I found body positivity as a thin person. Nicola Haggett and I jumped into this Roxane Gay memoir and all its messiness.